Fight Fear on the Other Side
Season 1. Episode 18.
The other side of infertility is a strange place. And it’s a place that I was not expecting to be so blindsided by fear. It’s something that people do not talk about enough. Whatever your other side looks like (becoming pregnant, adopting a baby, adopting an embryo, etc), there is still doubt and fear and trust issues there. If we don’t deal with the fear now, it will rob you of the joy on the other side. The fear and worry keeps you a place of longing for the next thing and it takes away the joy of today. But then you get to the next thing and it’s not enough. You still feel the worry and fear. Here are some practical tools to fight the fear on the other side:
Write down the facts.
Positive test, hcg numbers, test results, etc
Standing on the facts of today helps prevent you from spiraling down the path of toxic thoughts.
“I am pregnant today. That’s all I know and no one knows what tomorrow will hold.”
Scripture. Memorize it.
God’s Word is a sword, a weapon to fight our battles. There is a reason that Scripture memory is a powerful tool.
When a thought comes in your head, recognize that it’s fear and not facts.
When the lies creep in, we have to be able to recognize it and combat it with facts and truth. The more you do this, the better you will get at recognizing the signs of the beginning of the spiral.
It’s more about who you are becoming through the decision making process.
In marriage, these weighty decisions can bring you together or tear you about. This process can also bring about some really ugly things in our hearts.
Unity should be the goal in decision making if you’re married.
How are we working together? How are we trusting God? How are we surrendering the outcomes? How are we resting in the fact that we knows our heart and is sovereign in all things.
Plan something fun while you wait on the next thing to make the days go by faster.
I was not prepared for the fact that there is still so much waiting on the other side. Laughing together and having fun with your spouse has a way of lightening the load we are carrying.
Encouragement from Chapter 5 called Grace Filled Thoughts:
“When you are in a period of waiting, it can be so tempting to try to take control of the situation and force a solution. I often thought about the story of Abraham, Sarah, and Hagar. Even though God had clearly told Sarah the promises for her future child, she was sick and tired of waiting. So she took matters into her own hands and told Abraham to have a baby with Hagar. As much as I want to judge Sarah for that choice, I can so relate to her desperation. Waiting on God is hard, and she waited a whole lot longer than I did! But taking control isn’t grace. Thinking you can do better than God can isn’t grace. There is so much beautiful grace in the concept of surrender. Surrendering your desires, your heart, and your plans to God is living in grace, trusting that His desires and His plans for you are the ones you really want.” - Give Grace book
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